Karyn Memorial
Hello everyone...
I wanted to let you all know that we have arrived at a date for
Karyn's memorial service. It will be held on September 9th at San
Domenico school. Though we have not set a time yet, I am fairly sure
it will be starting at 11am. For those of you that aren't familiar
with San Domenico, it is a beautiful school located at the end of
Butterfield Rd. in San Anselmo.
I also wanted to say a quick thank you for all of the cards, well
wishes, offers to help and phone calls. Though it's only been a few
short weeks since Karyn passed away, it feels like months ago and her
illness (thankfully) seems like years ago. That said, it is always
present in my mind what has happened, the pain that she endured and
the emotional suffering she withstood. I have been archiving this
blog for the future, sometime when Aidan and Lieneka will be old
enough to comprehend what happened to the wonderful person that is
their mother. As I read the entries now, I realize what a trance I
lived in and how my focus was so strong that I often was oblivious to
the reality around me. Sadly, the thoughts I have now are filled with
sadness over what it must have been like to be Karyn. To watch such a
wonderful life crumble and to be fully aware of where her road was
leading her.
Now that we've arrived at this new place, I am happy to say that I
have already fulfilled one of Karyn's wishes. There were two things
she relayed to me just before her second major surgery so that I
would know what to do should she not survive that operation. Though I
was never fearful of that at the time, I fortunately let her tell me
what her wishes were. One was to plant a magnolia tree in the back
yard, something I did for her on Sunday, right around the time she
left us 2 weeks prior. For those of you that know the house, it is in
the middle of the lawn and can be seen from all three bedrooms. Just
this morning I woke up and saw the leaves shimmering in the sunlight,
I thought of her and then realized that the tree was in the right
place. Her second wish has yet to be fulfilled, but it will happen soon.
Many of you have been asking about how we are doing, some of you have
called, some of you have written. The truth is, we are managing
pretty well here. The size of this loss in not something that I can
comprehend, so I spend my time focused on the kids, setting up
playdates, going on adventures (we went to the SF Zoo yesterday) and
planning for the future. I do not avoid what happened with them---
especially Aidan. When he says he misses his mommy, I tell him how
much I miss her too. This is not something to run from, but to run
straight in to. We cannot change a thing that has happened, and to
try to fight it or somehow think that actions would change anything
is wrong. Karyn would want us to move forward as best we can, and I
think she would be proud of us right now.
I will update everyone on the final plans as soon as we lock things
down.
~Julian
2 Comments:
Julian,
I am so happy to hear from you. I still check in to the blog several times a day, as it has become habit over the months. It is helping me process what has happened, little by little. My thoughts are never, ever far from you, Aidy, and Kiki. It helps to know you are running straight into your new reality, as you put it. I can picture the magnolia tree so clearly, as if I have already seen it before. I miss you all so very much. I give thanks every single day that although I only knew Karyn for a very short time, I did know her, and feel my life was changed because of it. Thank you again for making me part of your family. I will never forget any of those happy, happy days.
Please know I will be with you at Karyn's memorial in spirit.
All the love I have,
Keri
Julian,
I learned about you and Karyn months ago through our friend Ted. He shared this site with me and asked me to keep you both in mind because last year I went through cancer myself.
I have sent prayers and energy to both of you for many months. I had been thinking of Karyn a lot lately, and today logged in again, and read of her passing.
She was an amazing person, but of course you know that well. What may not be so obvious is that someone like me, who did not know either of your directly nor had ever met you, came to be blessed by an inspiring woman and her primary caregiver through this blog.
You two obviously have an incredible love for each other. It has been uplifting over the months to see how powerful that love is. All of us who witnessed it, whether we know you and Karyn or not, are better for seeing that love shared here.
I am in awe of your support and steadfastness through all of this. As someone said in an earlier post, Karyn is an angel now. Yet so are you. You have touched many people in such good ways through your honest and loving words. I can see why you and Karyn were put together; you both inspire and make people want to be better.
Karyn continues to love you and your children, and always will, as you will her. The love of Karyn and Julian will continue all the days of your life. I am thankful to have have been touched by it for a short while.
My prayers and loving energy continue for you and your family.
John Purdy, Dallas, Texas
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